Garage Sale Samba

Ok, ok, quit your bitchin'! I know that I have been neglecting my duties again. I told you that I was going up to help my sister over the weekend.

She is still moving (I know, she has been moving for a long time) and she begged me to come up early and help. And just because I love her sooooo much (no, really, I do) I took part of the day off and drove up. (Ahem, you can just feel that driving lesson blog coming your way)

Here is what we I did......

Friday drove 2.5 hours (blaring Wicked and singing at the top of my lungs - yes, I AM 15).

Get to the sista's old house.

She forgot to get singles for the garage sale.

I leave to go to the bank to get singles and quarters.

Return and help move, sort, pitch, move, sort,pitch (you get the idea).

We leave to return elliptical machine she borrowed from friend 3 years ago (that sat in her back room for 2 1/2 years) eat dinner at Uno's (yum) and return to pack, sort and so on.

I sit down in the recliner (for sale $25) at 3:30 am and literally could not move. Sista threw a sheet over me and that is where I slept until the alarm went off at 5:30. As in AM.

Woooohoooo, 2 whole hours of sleep.

I don't think I moved a muscle the whole night (well, the 2 hours I was there) and dragged myself out of the chair by 6 to brush the teeth, brush my hair and throw on a little makeup (very little, which can be pretty scary).

Knock on door at 7:00 am SHARP!

Of course, it is the Craigs List garage sale rapists (you know, they screw you). These are the guys that come to your house first thing to rid you of all your jewelry, antiques and anything else of value before you can get your wits about you and the first cup o' joe.

Sista (I think I am gonna call her Babs from now on) sells a few items (one was a very nice ceramic vase) and collects $2. WHAT!?!?! $2?!?!?!?

Grrrrrrrr! Not a good start. Wah waah.

Now, it is all humid (TS Fay just left after churning here for 3 days) and the mosquitos are dive bombing us like crazy and it like 900 degrees.

We are sweating like ........ (I don't think I will simile here because the pictures are not very pretty).

We are still unpacking boxes and closets and organizing while the people pick through. It is getting a little crazy (even thought we only had 1 sign out) and we are collecting a dollar here, a quarter there. And then come the Islanders. Now, I won't generalize any specific nationality but, I have been through a few garage sales dealing with this kind of buyer AND I live in SoFla AND work for a company with LOTS of laborers.

These folks come in, pick up a few items, offer you 10 cents for 27 pairs of pants (of course, you say no way, you paid $400 for those pairs of pants and you can not let them go for less than $5) They try to bargain you down and offer you $4. You accept and then ....

they go find every damn pair of pants that are in the sale and proceed to pile another 40 pairs of pants, shorts and anything else that could be construed as pants of some sort. And then hand over their $4.

Ummmm.........

I don't think so.

Then, they move to the sheets and shoes and the dance starts all over again. The end result? They spent $4.50, got a bag full of crappy clothes, 3 pairs of shoes and I got the satisfaction that they did not get to bait and switch the super saavy Binks! HA!

The sale was generally normal after that and we closed up shop at 2. Stragglers came until 4 and then we REALLY closed the doors.

Being the slave driver that I am, I made Babs go through more boxes (she was crying, people). Those boxes had paper from like the 1990's. (because who DOESN'T save old cable bills for 10 years?) (Oh wait, I think that I had some 15 year old bills that I just shredded)

We did what anybody else would do, we piled them in the old gas grill (which we were dumping) and lit them on fire! Yay! Now we don't have to tote those boxes to the new place!

We were so exhausted and went to bed early (if you call 11:30 early) and got up at 6:30 to start all over again.

Well, to make a long story even longer, we did sell most of the big stuff and lots of the small stuff that took 14 years to collect. Babs made about $500, and I call that a success.

Tell me all about your garage sale successes, sambas or suckages.
(and if you need some advice, I am ready, willing and able)